


Play By e-Mail Limericks

by fileg



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Multi-Age, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2003-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-22 21:06:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3743499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fileg/pseuds/fileg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When I asked my friend Toby to Beta my Denethor villanelle, he told me "I would have Denethor writing poetry that begins - There was an old man from Belfalas..."<br/>It was tooo easy, so I wrote the limerick, and sent it on to him with the first line for a new one. We have been playing back and forth since.<br/>These are silly, smutty and irreverent - they are limericks after all! And putting them in the "poetry"  genre made me laugh as hard as the limericks themselves.<br/>Toby  does not want play anymore - anyone else want to play??</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There was an old man from Belfalas

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

This was the begining, written from Toby's throwaway line:

 

There was an old man from Belfalas  
Who brought his young bride to the palace  
But had to correct her -  
That isn’t the scepter  
Now let go of Elessar’s phallus.


	2. There once was a maiden from Nargothrond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I asked my friend Toby to Beta my Denethor villanelle, he told me "I would have Denethor writing poetry that begins - There was an old man from Belfalas..."

Toby wrote back:

 

There once was a maiden from Nargothrond  
Who of Mirkwood elf-boys was mighty fond.  
When she spied Legolas  
Bare his firm rounded ass,  
She had to cool off in the Hidden Pond.

 

 

Our friend Nan, lover of Legolas, had been getting copies of these emails and she sent us this:

 

There once was a maiden from Nargothrond  
Who had it bad for Elrond  
She said to herself  
Now that's one hot elf  
But then again… where is that blonde?

 

 


	3. A singular dwarf is Lord Gimli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I asked my friend Toby to Beta my Denethor villanelle, he told me "I would have Denethor writing poetry that begins - There was an old man from Belfalas..."

  
Tay:

A singular dwarf is Lord Gimli  
In carved halls where torches burn dimly  
but there he must stay  
for in cold light of day  
everyone thinks he is Wilfred Brimley


	4. A mighty long spear had Gil-Galad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I asked my friend Toby to Beta my Denethor villanelle, he told me "I would have Denethor writing poetry that begins - There was an old man from Belfalas..."

Toby:

 

A mighty long spear had Gil-Galad.  
Much longer by far than his father had.  
But he sheathed it too quick  
Which then caused such a nick  
That he lost the full use of his left gonad.


	5. You will taste manflesh! said Saruman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I asked my friend Toby to Beta my Denethor villanelle, he told me "I would have Denethor writing poetry that begins - There was an old man from Belfalas..."

  
When Toby sent me this starting line, I puzzled over it for a whole day. I still think it is a shameful waste of a rhyme, and I would like to better it

 

Tay:

“You will taste manflesh!” said Saruman  
“And I’ll teach you to feather and tar a man.”  
With a grin added Lurtz  
“I’ll bet that really hurts!  
And it’s more painful still if you char a man.”


	6. Ride hard, Arwen, never look back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I asked my friend Toby to Beta my Denethor villanelle, he told me "I would have Denethor writing poetry that begins - There was an old man from Belfalas..."

When I got this back from Toby and it wasn't even remotely dirty, I knew the game was over, and indeed he has bowed out now, leaving me with a last line to work from.

 

 

 

Toby:

Ride hard, Arwen, never look back!  
Beware the Nine, all clad in black.  
When you reach Rivendell  
Recite an elf-spell,  
And the Bruinen will throw them off-track.

 

 


End file.
